Unraveling

There is something to be said for patterns. Lines, shapes, and colors all woven together into a thing of beautiful symmetry. But there's also something to be said for the unraveling. When it all comes apart and the deep things get pulled out. When everything is spilled out in all it's raw unadulterated glory and everything hidden is now seen.

In church recently they talked about tilling a garden. How sometimes you've got to get in deep and get to the root of things before they will produce any fruit. How the process of tilling and turning is beauty in itself because it breaks off the things that tried to stay in there for good. Jonathan Turner says the only reason you break ground is because the harvest is in season. You break ground because it's time.

There comes a point in time when you come to the end of yourself. There have been counterfeit points of time when you think you have come to the end of yourself. But when you finally reach the end of yourself, you know. There's no mistaking it.

The human mind is a powerful thing. We reason, we justify, we condone, we placate, we overlook, we understand, we accept, we suppress, and we block out. Then there comes a time when you have to come face to face with your greatest fear. I never would have recognized or acknowledged this, but my greatest fear is becoming my mother. And through a series of life circumstances, I became her. At least a part of her. The part of her I could understand. At my lowest point, I came across a manilla envelope