I'm sure you have heard that cliche saying, “You made your bed now lie in it.”
For many families, this is a common life philosophy taught and promoted throughout childhood. This message is typically passed down from one generation to the next, particularly in people where there was prior victimization or helplessness. The mindset gets normalized and subsequent generations stop challenging it’s legitimacy. Instead, the belief remains that there are limited choices in life and once there made, your stuck with them. Even worse, there is the common belief that leaving an “old bed” in search for a better one is irresponsible, selfish, or immature.
Scripture teaches the direct opposite. It reminds us that wherever we are in life, even if we are in a bed we made or a mess we have created for ourselves, God is still right there with us and waiting to pull us out of it if we will just let Him.
Psalm 139:8 (NIV) - "If I go up to the heavens, You are there. If I make my bed in hell, You are there."
Limiting your options is powerful and destructive because it discounts many of the basic freedoms of humanity, including evaluating your choices and decisions in life, changing your mind, and changing your course of action to match ongoing or changing circumstances. The important decisions you made in your life always occurred within specific contexts.
Perhaps it was a time in your life when you lacked experience or wisdom.
Maybe you felt pressured to accommodate other people.
You may have been acting from a lack of emotional maturity or positive self-esteem.
Maybe you were unconsciously modeling what was normalized for you in your childhood.
The truth is, the people and things that met your needs 1, 5,10, or 20 years ago may be completely irrelevant to your life today. Presently, your eyes may have been opened in ways liked never before. Maybe you have tapped into a creative, curious, or adventurous part of yourself that wasn’t available in the past, and the new parts of you have very different needs and desires. Maybe you have simply outgrown those choices previously made that once served you well. Perhaps you’ve come to realize that you deserve more and deserve to be treated with greater love and respect. The bottom line is that you should never be stuck with a choice that worked in the past but is no longer useful, relevant, productive, or safe in the present. God is still creating even today - and He would love the opportunity to recreate your life and make it something completely new so you do not have to wallow in that "bed" you created or yourself or that "bed" you spent so many years accustomed to. God is faithful to bring all things to restoration and give people new life in Him!
2 Corinthians 5:17 (TPT) - "Now, if anyone is enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new creation. All things related to the old have vanished. Behold, everything is fresh and new!"
You have the freedom in Christ Jesus to leave that old “bed” and discover a new one that truly reflects who you are in Him and what you currently need and desire. This is especially important when you made those prior decisions under pressure or stress, or you happen to realize that you have actually been lying on a "bed" of harmful bed nails. Naturally is the time for prayer, inward reflection, re-evaluating decisions and choices, and allowing yourself to decide if they work for you or if it is time to do something different.
Anyone who insists that you must forever stay with your original choices is asking you to remain frozen in time. They may push the idea because it matches their personal agenda or needs without considering the impact that it has on your life. People can be quick to weight in, even when you don’t ask for their opinion. They’ll give you advice about what would be in your best interest. They might make sweeping statements and judgments about your life even when they do not know the whole story. They may be out of touch with your current feelings or the toll your choices make on your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental health. It is so important that you trust God and your own inner wisdom and discernment that He gives you. A true sign of an ever-evolving person of God is one who looks back and identifies the many beds they got to try out, live in for a time, and then allowed Him to move them on to something new.
You never have to stay stuck in your past. There is true FREEDOM in God! Work with Him and allow Him to create something new and beautiful in your life!
Revelation 21:5 (TPT) - God-Enthroned spoke to me and said, “Consider this! I am making everything to be new and fresh. Write down at once all that I have told you, because each word is trustworthy and dependable.”